The perfect tour

I’ve been guiding in Oxford for nearly 20 years now, not continuously of course – it has always been a part-time activity. In that sense it has fitted well with my lack of commitment: I could spend long periods in Spain, or working on our regreening project at Stow on the Wold, or travelling the world. It also fitted well with my other activities, including writing, walking and such. It was never a big earner, you need to be very committed to make it your only source of income, and events can easily result in no income at all: both winter and lock-down are examples. I haven’t finished guiding yet, but I reckon the end is somewhere in sight which made me think of the perfect tour. It might not be what you expect.

The ingredients are pretty much as follows: the participants, the theme, the weather and the guide. By the latter I mean, in this case, the guide’s mental attitude. None of these are truly in a guide’s control. Mostly you have no idea who the participants are going to be beyond nationality or sometimes age. Take a recent day when I had an emergency tour to deliver. The organiser, based in London. wanted the tour delivered on the following day for thirty -three people. I only take nineteen and even that is quite a crowd on the streets of Oxford. Negotiations via phone and email were not complete until the group were on the train and on their way to Oxford! The organiser agreed to split the tour and we agreed on a price for each tour. I quickly showered and rapidly pedalled down to the railway station. I like a challenge.

They were from Wako University in Texas and when we finally found each other I was greeted with enthusiastic, but undeserved, Texan whooping. The split was agreed outside the Said Business School and the afternoon lot wandered off towards the centre. My first lot, mostly young and female, had a thirst for knowledge about the workings of the Uni and, as often, tried desperately to fit this to the US system. They do not, of course, fit. But, the long trek from the station aside, it was a good, though challenging, tour which evinced many demanding questions from my enthusiastic audience. The tour for the remainder of the group was at 1.30 pm, meeting at the Weston Library. No one came. I waited for a while then a couple with two very small children turned up – that was all. What happened to the other nine I shall never know. And here’s a problem: a seven and a three-year old have little interest in the workings of the University and their parents’ main interest is the welfare and happiness of their kids. Even conjuring up Harry Potter does not help in these circumstances. Nevertheless, I did my best and dropped them off to meet the rest of their group at Christchurch where they could take their prearranged audio tour with their colleagues at the “Harry Potter” college.

Of course, there is no perfect tour. But a state of perturbation in the guide and enthusiasm in the guided nudges things that way. I suppose one of my best was with an audience of one: a Harvard professor. At the end of the tour, actually more of a spirited conversation than tour, he thrust a $50 tip into my hand. This I heartily refused saying that I had enjoyed the tour just as much as he claimed to have done, but he insisted.

Me and my golf trolley do a bit more of Cotswold Way

 

Actually it was not supposed to be a bit more, it was supposed to be the rest of it after completing the Bath to Stroud section last year.

I started out from Stow on the Wold at around 10am on 12^th June 2024 having completed some necessary mods to the golf trolley, now called the GT. Most important was a fast release connector to detach the thing from my haversack. This latter worked well, and eased the problem presented by the bloody kissing gates. Bus to Merrywalks in Stroud then managed to reconnect with the Costwold Way at Ruscombe. That was not easy. I had to stop at a pub called the Star Inn on the way to ask for directions, then finally managed to rejoin the Way which I have now renamed the Dogswold Way since there are so many of the four footers exercising their owners up there nowadays.

The first stage was a walk to Painswick providing some great views of the Severn Valley along the way. In Painswick I spent my first night under canvas in a wood opposite the town’s Rococo Gardens. Didn’t sleep too well: female foxes screaming, I think. Found a pub of course. It was the Royal Oak which a man on the street told me was the best pub in the world! It was not half bad. Good food, great local ale and an excellent lady publican plus a few friendly locals to converse with. I was short of water for next day and the landlady gave me a bottle, “No charge, because I admire what you are doing”. Wow.

Woke at six and, after the usual hour de-tenting, I rejoined  the Cotswold Way which passed right next to my corner of the wood. It led through a golf course which was lightly populated by early morning dog walkers often with 2,3 or 4 dogs, plus a few early golfers who, I thought, eyed my GT with some perplexity. I was directed by helpful walkers towards Painswick Beacon but I did not see it.  Very poorly signposted. Weather was still good with sunshine though chilly. Then a long trek mostly through steep sided beech woods (eg Pope’s Wood, Upton and Brockworth) with limited views due to the trees. Rounded the steep sided Cooper’s Hill before coming to a roadway and then along wide and often muddy farm tracks chewed up by tractors. There I had long views towards Gloucester and could see Witcombe Reservoir. Met a few people: mostly women walkers or dog walkers. One woman was from Holland and had her whole trip organised by Cotswold Walkers who transported her luggage from stopover to stopover. She eyed my GT with something between curiosity and distaste.

There is a pub at Birdlip Hill, but I arrived at about 11am and wanted to reach Cheltenham where I planned to overnight so carried on rather than having a bite of lunch there. Plodding on I began to see and hear a very busy road which turned out to be the A417 heading up the hill to the old Air Balloon Pub - recently deflated. This is the place where, as I told anyone who would listen, I had my first pint of bitter, aged 15 years (me, not the beer).

Had my lunch, a scotch egg, at the car park near the crest. Wonderful views towards Gloucester and the Malverns, but marred by the noise of the A417 then on each side of me. The area around the flattened pub was like a war zone. Heavy lifters crushing and moving rock for some new road layout, same machines that destroyed the Air Balloon, I suppose. Leaving that behind me I entered the strange diamond of road and path which sits atop Crickley Hill, home to two stone-age occupations and then an iron-age one. Though redolent with ancient history there was little to see of that, but those old ‘uns did have a great and expansive view from up there.

Getting out through the northern point of the diamond was tricky, high gradient slopes plus a narrow track and I was quite confused by it all – didn’t seem to line up with the map. I struggled on through strengthening drizzle to Leckhampton Hill, part of my upbringing in Cheltenham, and headed for the strange natural limestone tower known as the Devil’s Chimney. I did not see it, the drizzle had become a serious rain storm. I donned my waterproof trousers and struggled along hardly able to see much through the rain and also battered by strong winds. I felt like an arctic explorer, but managed to find the Way to Hartley Hill with its misty views of Cheltenham to the north. After that the Way made a dog leg south towards Seven Springs where I had to take the very busy A435 road. It was horrendous, no pavement and the grass on the verge so long that I could not drag the GT through it so kept to the very edge of the road itself with cars and lorries within inches of the wheel of the GT. Very relieved to turn off onto a proper path that led up to Ravensgate Hill and which then turned back in the correct direction making for the reservoir to the east of Cheltenham.

I had planned to camp near Cheltenham for the night but the rain came back and the whole area on the upper slopes became very slippery, not good when you are towing a GT. The downward path edged along a steep decline where I had to push the GT in case it might drag me down the slope from behind. I did slip once in fact, but managed to save myself and the GT from falling. Having lost the Cotswold Way, I was forced to enter Lineover Woods which eventually led me to the A40. However, before I reached the road, I had decided to abandon the walk. It was just too wet and the forecast was grim. I checked the bus times to Stow on my phone and found that the very last bus was due at the Reservoir Inn at 18.48, I had ten minutes or so to get there. I could just make it. This was an amazing and fortuitous coincidence. I could not believe my luck, but the bus did arrive and I clambered aboard with all my stuff.

Disappointing. I had only covered about 26 miles, consumed 3 pints of ale and visited just two pubs. But the walk was good and I will continue on to Chipping Camden sometime this year.

A surprising visit to Lincoln College. Sexual harassment and the founder of Methodism

 I have a slight interest in John Wesley and the Methodist Movement mainly stimulated by providing a couple of tours on that theme in the past. The connections with Oxford are strong, of course. Wesley and his brother attended Christ Church and, after graduating, John became a fellow at Lincoln College. He is celebrated there: his original room is preserved, he preached in the chapel and donated gifts to the college.

Simon Q  CC-SA BY 2.0

With others the Wesley brothers founded a group sometimes called the Holy Club. They were rigorous in their religiosity, meeting daily from six until nine for prayer, psalms, and reading of the Greek New Testament, then praying every hour throughout the day, taking Communion every Sunday, and fasting on Wednesdays and Fridays until 3 pm! It is from this rigour that the term Methodism is said to have evolved.

That demanding timetable would seem to leave little time for dalliance. Nevertheless, Wesley did marry. This took place in 1751 by which time he was 48 years old. He would have then been required to resign his fellowship at Lincoln (Fellows were sworn to celibacy until late in the 19^th century). That said, I was intrigued by a notice of a forthcoming lecture at Lincoln titled Wesley and Women and went along with Margaret, my wife, who has a slight interest through her non-conformist upbringing as a Baptist.

Expecting a rather dull meeting yet hoping for something that might add to my guiding knowledge, I was surprised and shocked by the presentation. It focussed on a mysterious letter to John from a young female admirer; a letter that had apparently been discovered and removed by his wife when she left him in 1758. The lecturer read extracts from the letter and displayed the text on the screen at the same time which was quite effective to my mind and preferable to the straightforward reading of papers common amongst Oxford academic presenters. Amongst warm appreciation of Wesley’s godliness, etc, there were clear insinuations in the letter of unwelcomed sexual advances! However, the situation is confused by alternate use of first or second person which left some doubt whether the perpetrator was Wesley or some unknown man.  The presenter left us to decide for ourselves the validity of the letter and the guilt or otherwise of that stalwart of Methodism.

Afterwards we drank wine with the presenter and his wife, then walked to Oxford’s newest hotel: The Store. There we took a lift to the roof top bar and surveyed a panorama of Oxford’s centre which was spectacularly new to me and, to use a modern adjective, awesome. Another glass of wine then home, discussing the culpability of Wesley and moral lassitude of important men. Sorry I should say people to be inclusive.

 

Inspiration from Morocco

 Yes, we’ve been off again. First time to Morocco, though it’s next door to our second country, Spain, and shares a couple of cities with it. Why Morocco? ‘Cause it’s supposed to be warm and sunny in the winter and it combines some familiarity (we lived next to Moroccans for some time) and has tempting mysteries.

We landed in Marrakesh and it was hot. I had booked a hotel for three days with the flight which was mysteriously called, Riad DAR 73. We caught a bus to a large square which turned out to be the main centre of the ‘red city’ and walked towards the hotel; it did not seem far and we had Google to guide us. But Google failed and three policemen in argumentative conference could not help. After many false trails we found the place down a very narrow alley strewn with rubbish and lined with collapsing houses. We could not believe it, this was supposed to be a five-star hotel with swimming pool, though I must say it had seemed quite a bargain. I ducked low to get through the door and looked around suspiciously, could this really be it. In fact, once inside it was not too bad, but certainly not five-star.­­­­

This was the beginning of our flirtation with Riads. They are large houses that have been converted into small hotels. They are located in the Medinas (the old walled part of city where no cars are allowed) down very narrow alleys. They are not at all impressive from the outside, but are often palatial inside: usually built around an atrium with the dining room on the ground floor. Our most impressive were in Fes, the original capital. There the Madaw had a large atrium decorated with multi-coloured small tiles in swirling patterns reaching right up to the top floor where our sumptuous room was similarly decorated, as was the shower room. Yes, we stayed in a small palace with an open rooftop above and sometimes had the whole place to ourselves.

We had taken the train to Fes so we could see a good deal of the country along the way. Once there I found the Medina claustrophobic and soon tired of the passive aggressive offers of help from potential guides. We travelled to the more modern capital of Rabat then drove to a large lake called Merja Gerga beside the Atlantic to study birds where I was particularly thrilled to observe spoonbills.

Morocco is not the place for those who like to take a drop, but we managed. The saving grace was often the hidden booze cellars of Carrefour supermarkets, but some restaurants catered for the needy.

Returning to Oxford at 4 a.m. on a freezing Sunday morning we walked through appalling scenes of drunkenness, debauchery and semi-nudity. And, out running the next day, I rather missed the friendly faces, the hand touched to the chest, the engaging nod, the knowing smile and the warm sun. Back to reality, the trip has given me an idea for a book, and that can’t be bad.

Only in Oxford: Free Will versus Determinism

 Did you freely decide to read this blog or was it simply inevitable? This free will argument engages my brain and has done for some time. Is everything pre-determined? Since our universe is determined by physical laws then given a fixed starting point everything must evolve according to those laws – that is determinism, we do not have free will. You did not decide to have eggs for breakfast this morning rather than cereal. You thought that you decided, but that thought was predetermined. When Jack the Ripper murdered all of those innocent people, it was not his fault, his actions were predetermined and not his responsibility!

I believe that we have free will and I can explain why. I believe that you can choose between eggs and cereal for breakfast and hence that we are responsible for our actions. Consequently, Jack the Ripper, if he had been found, should have faced the consequences.

Nevertheless, this very important issue needs exploration.That is why I decided to return to Oxford from Stow on the Wold in order to attend a lecture on it at St Margaret’s Institute which is quite near to our flat in North Oxford. The title was ‘Free will is not an illusion: biology against determinism’ and the speaker was Denis Noble. As usual I cut things fine, arriving about 3 minutes before the start. I was then faced, along with other disappointed attendees, by a large printed sign saying FULL UP. I was shocked. After all the lecture hall is large, it probably holds 70 or more, and the subject somewhat obscure. And so the title of this blog: “Only in Oxford”.

Undeterred, I returned to the flat and quickly found a video by Denis Noble on this self same subject. Watching it I quickly ascertained that this ancient, white haired, white browed academic believes that we do have free will - that our actions and thoughts are not predetermined. He bases his argument on the simple fact that the elementary stuff of which we are all made behaves randomly (Brownian movement, etc) and so nothing is predetermined.  I so agree.

Later I watched a TED talk by an enthusiastic young determinism believer. He was very convincing of course. But, at the end of his talk, he advised us that we must not use this determinism as an excuse for irresponsible action! We must, he advised us, try to do the right thing and by our actions persuade others to do so too. Silly man. If everything is predetermined there can be no persuading since that assumes the possibility of changing the future and determinism determines that the future is already determined! What do you think?

Christmas past and present, plus tunnels

 

Last year, 2022, Margaret and I spent Christmas in Adelaide with out youngest son and his family, and I swam, twice, on the day itself in the shark-infested Great Australian Bight which I suppose is part of the Indian Ocean. We celebrated the New Year with our granddaughter in her New Zealander husband’s birthplace of Mount Maunganui where I played with my first great grandson and swam in the tumultuous Bay of Plenty. Chinese New Year saw us with my eldest son’s family showered with fireworks on the high mountainside peach plantation of his father-in-law in aboriginal Taiwan. Clearly, that year set a very high water mark for this one, 2023.

This year we spent most of the two weeks around Christmas on our own in either Stow on the Wold or Oxford. I did not swim and the weather was cold and mostly dreary. Yet it was great. We attended a wonderful carol concert in the beautiful surrounding of Keble College, Oxford. Then, on another evening we were the singers ourselves, singing traditional carols for charity with my fellow guides at the Broad Street Christmas Market. This was followed by a bit of a pub tour ending up at the Rose and Crown, one of our locals. Then off to Stow where we had two excellent musical nights in the Talbot on the main square. It’s recently been taken over by the lead singer of that internationally famous group, Aliens Don’t Ring Doorbells. On Christmas Eve he did most of the singing while his troop of young ladies from Spain paraded prettily to his dulcet tones and we were applauded for our dancing, well Margaret really.

The Christmas was all nicely finished off by a visit from our two grandchildren from London, accompanied by that same great grandson, now a busy and adventurous one and half year old. Then finally, on New Year’s Eve we wandered down to our other local in Oxford, The Harcourt Arms which is well known for its music. There, a large man called Jack bashed away at his electronic organ playing any song on request, even mine: The Wild Rover. At about eleven the doors burst open and in poured our favourite group, the Spirolites and things then went wild for the last hour of 2023 and a bit of 2024.

Next year? Who knows?

https://youtu.be/xXHlBT0FEgI

Back to normality. I’ve just launched a new video. I’ve made a couple on the tunnels of Oxford and they have proven popular so I thought I would mop up with some others I know of. There’s something about these subterranean places especially in a city like Oxford, you know. This one’s called More Secret Tunnels of Oxford – have a look. https://youtu.be/xXHlBT0FEgI

Worcester College opens the doors – and the gardens

Worcester College has always been rather inaccessible during my career as a guide but, under the new Provost David Isaac, it has opened up; more than that it is actually welcoming. I have always admired this college and it is “in my patch” of Oxford. Though not so great when viewed form the outside, inside it is wonderful: a hidden jewel and so green.

Emma Goodrum, the college archivist gave us guides from the Oxford Guild an excellent and informative tour and I thought then that I must add it to my Most Beautiful Colleges of Oxford series on Youtube. And I have. Take a look here.

 

Spain again 2023

 

It’s nearly the end of September and we’ve been back in our casa (house) in La Fresneda for a week or so. The 1,000 plus miles it takes to get here in the motor caravan had its usual up and downs starting with a good last UK night in Blake’s our usual pub in Dover – with live music. We made a dash to the east above Paris using the boring but fast toll roads reaching Reims, the first place we ever stayed at in our previous motor caravan, then spending a nice night in nearby Epernay drinking Belgian beer rather than its main product: champagne.

We then passed through the middle of France joining the gloriously toll free (mostly) A20 with a couple of overnight stops at St Floret sur Cher (see the chateau) and Cazeres. The latter is a town near Toulouse where we had a few drinks with a well travelled man originally from South Africa and the landlord of the pub who was from Spain. The Bistrot de Olive didn’t serve food so the landlord sold us the makings of dinner but that’s another story.

Then over the glorious Pyrenees via Pont de Suerte and a long drive to our village where we dined on tapas at our local pub Bar la Plaza. As usual things have changed in the village somewhat. This time the place was overrun by motorcyclists and we found that many of the empty houses are now doing Airbnb. Our own house was difficult to enter (jammed doors again) but otherwise fine and is looking rather nice with the climbing rose and serpentine grape vine that we have established on its main wall.

The huerto continues to be invaded by armoured weeds, but we have a mini harvest of little apples and big bunches of grapes are hanging from the almond tree (no almonds though). Very few olives in the grove but that’s OK, we don’t know what to with them these days anyway. The caseta still has water ingress which is beginning to rot the beams but mostly OK. I blame the builder for water problems and have told him (me) that he must try to fix it (again) this time.

It is very hot and I am less inclined to work in the heat nowadays: spending more time in the house and in the motor caravan where I am trying to get the new fridge I fitted before our trip to function. Happy days.

Refrigerators and everything you need to know about Oxford University

 

Just off on another trip to our village of La Fresneda in Spain after the long and frustrating task of fitting a new refrigerator to the old motor caravan. Not an easy job, it works off the camper’s battery, plug in mains, or gas. At this moment it does not work with any of them, so that’s not good.

Meanwhile I have been working hard to finish my latest video before I go and have just launched it. Its title is: Everything you need to know about Oxford University: The brief guide. Some task, and some claim. Everything? Well of course not. Anyone who does know everything about this arcane, yet adaptable institution is probably incapable of explaining it to anyone except themselves. But I’ve had a go and with the help of some good and knowledgeable friends it’s finished and viewable on Youtube. Have a look.

The next blog will probably be from Spain, there were many of those in the past.

Walking the Cotswold Way pursued by a golfing trolley

I like to take long walks occasionally and I do not like the idea of paying for overnight accommodation, porterage and such, so I wild camp and carry everything on my back. But it’s heavy and seems to become heavier as the days progress. That’s why for some years now I have been incubating this idea of pulling my camping gear behind me rather than hefting it on my back. I tried various solutions without success. Then I made a lucky find. Someone in a rather rich area near my flat in Oxford had thrown away a used golfing trolley. I adapted it and this contraption with the luggage bag or box (a slightly modified modern grass box from an electric mower) plus flexibly attached and also modified haversack became known to me as the trolley. Now I could carry a much bigger tent and have a go at a walk I have often fancied: the Cotswold Way.

So, at the end of August in 2023, I struggled onto a very busy train from Oxford with my trolley and travelled to Bath, the southern end of the Way. It seemed to take forever extricating myself from the city but I did it and ended that first day in a camping spot beyond a rusty gate just to the north of Hinton near a massive manure heap and a wood. As I erected the tent a car parked in the rusty gate entranceway! I could not believe it. Who could it be? The owners of the field? Officers of the Stop Wild Camping Brigade? Lovers? Everything was already wet from the rain soaked grass so I had no choice but to continue making camp. By the time I’d finished it was almost dark, so I took my torch to the gate and waved it about a bit. A light came on in the car and the driver’s window was lowered. A youngish woman said, “Sorry, is this your gate?”

“Not exactly”, I replied as she quickly reversed and sped off, away from Hinton. I walked in the other direction in the near darkness to Hinton’s only pub, the Bull. It had beer, but no food so I dined on salted peanuts. No breakfast the next day either as I towed the trolley alongside the M4 then crossed it to the village of Tormarton. Its pub had closed down, so on again to Old Sodbury where in a pub called The Dog I had a much needed sausage, egg and chips.

By this time I had developed a hatred of styles, kissing gates and all of the things that blocked my way along the Cotswold Way: they are not made for walkers with trolleys. However, that night I made it to Hawkesbury Upton where lay my perfect pub: the Beaufort Arms. Perfect with one exception, the otherwise friendly landlord did not provide tasters of the real ales he purveyed. “You can buy a half or a pint,” he told me bluntly – and he had good reason for his rule. Had a good dinner of faggots and mash then returned to my camp in a corner of the local football field.

Hygiene when wild camping is always a problem, but I did manage a refreshing wash down the next day in a very cold stream. I then sweated my way up Wortley Hill, which overlooks Wotton under Edge. But there was a reward for my efforts: the first good views of the Severn Valley with that wide river shimmering in the distance beside my ancestral home: Berkeley.

A long trek then to North Nibley Monument with its even more panoramic views and onwards to Dursley where I drank in the Old Spot, lost my boots, and had great difficulty finding a wild camping site. Next and last day I made it to Stroud in my sandals and took a three bus trip to Stow on the Wold having completed about half of the Cotswold Way’s one hundred odd miles. There I parked my trolley in the garage ready for an assault on the other half of that beautiful, but challenging footpath.

(This is a much abbreviated version of my notes. If you want the whole story email me.)