In an attempt
to inject a little humour
into the dire shadow created by the Corona Virus, I copied a few friends in on
this modified first line of The Hobbit: In a hole in the ground
there lived a hobbit. He planned to stay there indefinitely in order not to
make the lives of essential healthcare personnel more perilous.
I did not invent that modification to Tolkien’s book, but I
thought I might have a go at his magnum: The Lord of the Rings. Here’s the
modified first line: When Mr. Bilbo Baggins of Bag End announced
that he would shortly be celebrating his eleventy-first birthday with a party
of special magnificence, he received a visit from the Hobbiton constabulary who
explicitly apprised him of the recent restrictions on social gatherings.
Parody is one way of keeping the spirits up and a take off
of Queen’s famous song certainly made me smile – and it ends with a serious
message. See and hear it as Corona
Virus Rhapsody.
And then, for me, it was April the 1st. Back when
we had our smallholding and children of varying ages I made a great thing of
that day. My favourite prank was to create what looked like a hand part
submerged in our pond holding a notice. The notice said something silly like
‘Save me!’, and I think I found it funnier in the execution than the kids did
when they first looked out of their bedroom windows. Isolated in Stow and with
children now mostly far away and with kids of their own, I am spending some
time clearing up my garage (really my shed, no room for a car) and came
upon a golden egg. No idea where it came from and why I kept it, it’s made of
brass I think and looks like a chicken egg, but golden and heavy. So, when
I let the chickens out on April Fools’ Day, I placed it amongst the hay in one
of the new nest boxes I made for them. I then waited for a scream from my wife
when she discovered it. Sadly, there was no scream, just a bland aside later in
the day: “Oh, I saw the egg. Very funny”. Ah well, who was the fool?
Back at the farm, well not quite – still no sheep and
no eggs - I dig and I rake the garden in preparation for the biggest crop I’ve
ever grown since we had the smallholding. In those way gone days I did have a
little help: in particular my old, but game, grey Ferguson tractor and all the
bits to put on the back (including a potato planter and spinner). Nowadays
everything I do is by hand and on a smaller scale. Nevertheless I’ve seeded
purple sprouting, cabbage, radishes, lettuces, carrots, turnip, swede and,
well, quite a lot of stuff really, not to forget a few rows of early and
maincrop potatoes. Now we need warm spring weather, but Stow-on-the-Wold (where
the wind blows cold) has lived up to its name over the past few days, so the
seeds are biding their time.
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