Here you can read about three very different Oxford tours and then get a link to my latest video, a pub one and just the place to go after these three tours.
Tour 1 Chaos
Four mature guides, including myself, were waiting for a
party of eighty people on a company jolly to Oxford from a far eastern country
which will remain nameless to protect the innocent. They arrived at the visitor
centre of the college of Christchurch and the first requirement was - you’ve
guessed it – toilets. That took a while. Then they had to be lined up in four
different groups, single file, for the distribution of audio-visual guides –
the staff members at the visitor centre are quite draconian about this. That too
took a while. In fact half an hour had passed fruitlessly by before I could
take my group into the college through the Meadow Gate. Inside they fiddled
haplessly with their multiple language audio-visual guides attempting to begin
the tour – many failed and I helped as best I could. I would much prefer to
guide them round this top tourist spot myself, but the college no longer allows
us to do so.
Their group leader was enthusiastic, but spoke little
English. Nevertheless he managed to convey to me that the full tour was far too
complicated so I suggested that we just visit the dining hall (he called it the
Harry Potter dining hall) and the cathedral. So, we joined the slow moving
queue on the famous (Harry Potter) access stairs then wormed our way slowly
around the even more famous dining hall while they filled their phones with
images of it all.
The next port of call was the visually striking Tom Quad,
where more images were captured and the group scattered before we could herd
them into the cathedral. Once inside I had just one follower – the group leader
– he had lost the entire group.
Somehow we got most of them together in order to leave the
college and as we left they dispersed. I explained as best that I could that it
was now my role as the guide to take them to a number of interesting sites in
the city. Their leader smiled tolerantly whilst continuing to send them off,
unaccompanied, with instructions to meet at McDonalds at 4pm. Soon he was the
only person left – so I went home. An unwanted and useless guide.
Tour 2 The donor and family
Many people give money to Oxford University and its
colleges. The most recent big ones are: the Blavatnik School of Government, Reuben
College and the nascent Schwartzman Centre for the Humanities. Many other
philanthropic gifts have been provided and donors seem keen to oblige.
This tour had been arranged by the University and I was the
guide. My role was to show the potential donor (PD) around the central
buildings, explain the way the University and Colleges interwork and so on –
the usual stuff. The group consisted of the PD and wife, their two teenage sons
and a younger daughter, an Oxford graduate who worked for the PD and a young
lady who worked for the University and who had the resources ready to pay for
any entry fees.
I was a little nervous, this was not my usual group by any
means, and people with huge amounts of money can often be egotistical and
demanding. This PD was not; in fact he was quite pleasant, fairly knowledgeable
and engaged. After him my main worry was the Oxford graduate. How dare I, having finished school at the age
of sixteen, explain the intricacies of the top University in the world when he
had just recently been though the mill? In fact he was delightful, telling me in
an aside that he had not yet experienced the graduation ceremony. Then there
was the PD’s wife, she was not happy and her face portrayed that. I have no
idea why she was not happy, but she contributed little to the proceeding and did
not sour them. Then there were the two lads. They were at the age where showing
interest in something said or shown by a person of my age would be
devastatingly embarrassing and they mostly avoided eye contact. The daughter
was rather sweet, and responded well to my asides about the locations used in
the Harry Potter films. I believe the high point of the tour, the thing which really
grabbed their attention was the long list of past donors which is displayed within
the Clarendon Building passageway.
The tour done, the PD took me aside and said that on the
basis of my tour he had decided to donate a huge sum of cash to the University
and then requested a visiting card from me. I hasten to add that only the final
part of that sentence in true. But he seemed happy enough and walked off with
his minders to a busy day where he would see more of the university and its
colleges than a humble tour guide ever would.
Tour 3 The American Indians
This was a tour that had all the hallmarks of failure. It
was in my diary as a group of Indians arriving at a certain time date and place
who had prepaid for a visit to New College. Well, first the booking had two
different dates, second the group were American not Indian and third the
college was closed on the day of the tour! I thought the second date the most
likely but went along to the meeting place on the first just in case. Just as
well, there, at the Martyr’s Memorial I was approached by Bob and his eight or
so companions. They were my sort of age and enthusiastic about Oxford, though
they had very limited time to spend with me.
I whizzed them round to St John’s College which was open and
free to enter and there gave my potted version of what a college does in the
Oxford scheme of things and then what was left for the University to do. They
were hungry for details. The questions kept a ‘coming and I did have all the
answers for them. They particularly liked the chapel and the magnificent
Canterbury Quad. After that we ventured into the city proper where we shared
the wonder of the Divinity School, the Sheldonian Theatre and Old Schools Quad
followed by the majesty of Radcliffe Square and its dominating Camera.
They appreciated the whole thing so much and my delivery was
much enhanced by their obvious appreciation. There was talk of return trips and
a general ambience of a good experience shared. I cycled home a happy man and a
contented tour guide.
That was quite a day. As you know my other thing is making
videos for my YouTube channel: Rob’s Oxford. Here’s the latest, fresh out of
the “studio”. It’s about the Harcourt Arms, one my and Margaret’s
favourite pubs. We go along most Sunday’s for its excellent open mike night – and
beer.